Why Should I Buy A Motor Bike

Dude… Are you seriously asking that question?

Firstly, before you do anything else, as a matter of maintaining your male parts, you must immediately go and find your balls. No, seriously. Go and search for your nuts because you obviously have detachable ones, and you need to go and find them and get them surgically sewn on for good. The first thing you may want to do is sell your car!

No man should be asking that question, buying a motorbike isn’t even a question. Men and motorbikes are like peas and carrots, milk and bread, they go together man! It is the greatest, longest lasting relationship that has stood the test of time across decades!

However, if you aren’t convinced, or you need some extra assistance in making the decision (and finding your balls along the way) then here are some tips, and first steps to make the decision easier for you.

First Step – License

Straight up, get your motor bike license. Motor bikes are awesome for street cred with the ladies, but nothing says ‘worlds biggest wanker’ than a dude with a motor bike in his garage and no way of legally riding it. You look like a right ball less twat. So look up motorbike license schools in your area. The course these days are normally all inclusive and the fee you pay includes everything and you come out the other end with a license and ready to rock and roll on the bike. So don’t be one of those wanker dudes with a bike parked in the garage and no license. Before you get all excited and go and buy the most powerful bike available, as a new rider, most states have restrictions on what CC’s new riders can legally be on. If you don’t know what CC’s are, than hold tight, the next tip will have you talking like a full blown motor bike riding legend in 2 minutes flat.


Second Step – Dirt VS Road

chicks-and-bikeNo, not where you are going to ride the bike you dick. The type of bike. To put it really simply – one you can take a chick on the back and go for Sunday cruises and fully lay it out with a picnic and shit. Pretty much a guarantee that you are going to get laid. Dude with bike and romantic, BOOM, drop the mic and the pants, she’ll have to hold on really tight so she doesn’t slide off the back.

If you have found your balls and you want to increase the size and testosterone levels of said balls, a dirt bike will do the trick. Jumps and dirts and beers with mates, that’s where its at. Find some trails and go nuts, adrenalin to the max man.

So work that shit out for yourself. We aren’t going to hold your hand and give your more info. You’ve got two hands, research your own crap. And don’t send us lots of questions asking which one we would recommend, because if you do, here is your response straight up: ‘Buy both tops you tight ass f#$k, live a little and cover all your bases’.


Third Step – Use the Bike

There is nothing that screams ‘I am the worlds biggest loser’ than a dude with a motor bike in his garage that never gets out. Please get off our site and go searching for those balls again. Chicks like bikes, they give you that instant ‘bad boy, unpredictable, wild’ persona. But a guy that doesn’t ride his bike will be found out by a¬†chick quicker than a dead rat. Then you go from cool, to sad loser who must be useless in bed quicker than your unused bike can get from 0 to 60 in (not that you would know because you never ride the thing). So ride the God damn bike. It’s that simple.



That’s about it really. See it’s not that hard. Oh and just don’t be a dickhead on your bike. Safety is also cool if you do have a stack.. you better make sure you know a good personal injury lawyer¬†especially if it’s not your fault!