Finding A Partner

Finding a partner these days can be a real bitch! After trawling all of the online dating sites you are probably better off visiting a private escort directory and getting a hot chick for the night! It sure beats having to sit and talk for hours about stuff that you are not interested in just to get laid! On the other hand if you are one of these new age sensitive guys that likes to have a girl friend… you may be better off resorting to old school dating.

Hot Tips!

maxresdefaultSo you have lined up a date from a dating site and you don’t really know where to start! Well the first step is to have a beer and think! Holy shit man… She said yes! Getting the date was the easy part, now you are going to have to do some smooth talking if you want to get to home base! Think about what you are going to say and have a plan on what to talk about!

One of the methods is to ask her heaps of questions and let her do all of the talking. (After all, woman love to talk) This will make her think that you are a good listener and a humble guy!

Some great questions are:

  • Where did you grow up?
  • What music do you like?
  • Have you been overseas?
  • Do you have any pets?
  • What did you do for a crust?
  • What’s you favourite footy team? (After all if she doesn’t like footy she isn’t even worth the time.)

Questions to Avoid:

  • Do you like girl on girl action?
  • Tell me about your ex!
  • How much money do you earn?
  • Do you like doggy style?
  • Tell me about your childhood. (Makes you sound like her therapist.)

Preparation on the Night.

ironingMake sure you have a good tub! Wash all you bits and pay special attention to your meat and veg! If you don’t have a beard (Non hipster) have a good shave and put on a dash of aftershave. Be careful not to use too much as this can be over bearing… first impression count.

Make sure you have air conditioning so as you are not all sweaty from the nerves of going on a date.

Get that fucking iron out of storage and learn how to use it! (or get your mum to iron your jeans) A freshly ironed look says a lot about a man and will score big points. Avoid putting a crease down the front of your jeans as this looks dicky! (pleats went out with buckle up boots!)

Brush you teeth and don’t have a beer after you do this! The smell of alcohol on your breath could be a deal breaker straight off the bat!

All Tricked Up!

fat-guyNow that you look like you give a fuck, you actually stand a chance of getting laid! I you are one of those lucky bastards who own a motorbike, make sure you take a spare helmet so as you can drive her home! (pardon the pun)

Make sure you arrive just a little late just encase her profile pic is 10 years old and she turns out to be… Well one of those girls that you would have to have drink a bottle of JD just to shag! Peruse the room and make sure that you identify her without making eye contact!

If she is a hotty swagger over and introduce yourself as you full name! Not your nick name as Woogo or Stewy just sounds a little bit bogan!

And that’s it! The rest is up to you! Good luck and remember if at first you don’t succeed have a beer and try again!

Tips For Dating From A Hot Chick!

One thought on “Finding A Partner

  1. Fuck Yeah Big Jim! This is what we all needed to hear. I tried all of these tips including having a shower and it worked a treat! The only problem was that the chick expected me to pay for dinner… I ended up paying but it was worth it! I have seen her twice now and I hope she doesn’t read this comment! Can’t wait for your next post!

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