You see a group of your girl mates all sitting around and you just want to swagger right up to them and ask that burning question, ‘So girls, does size really matter?’ But you can’t, because with one quick question, regardless of your manly man proportions, any chick in that group will instantly wipe you off their ‘must sleep with list’ and presume, that well if you are asking that question, you must, you know, need to know for reassurance issues.
BUT seriously chicks of the world, calm the hell down! It is a serious burning question that ever dude wants to know. Anatomically speaking, there are proportions to lady bits that surely once your cervix stickling stick reaches, deems it useless? You know, like the ole ‘more than a handful is a waste’ boob analogy. I don’t know who came up with that analogy by the way, but it is AWFUL, boobs are always good, small, medium, large, gigantic, who gives a crap, breasts are seriously the most amazing invention ever made. I digress. Penis. Back to the monkey sword.
Heat removed, here’s the low down
Ok so to save you the pain and potential sex limiting embarrassment. We got together with some cool chicks, gave them a series of sex and the city and enough espresso martini’s to sink a ship and the juice came out. Go and get a pen and paper, this stuff is gold. Drum roll please for the burning size questions you want to know!
Size matters but it doesn’t have to be huge
Light bulb moment! Chicks don’t expect a hung like a donkey pornstar wang. They just want to be able to feel it. Those huge dicks, according to the ladies, actually hurt and aren’t sustainable and most of them reckon they’d run for the hills if the old pants anaconda stared them in the face. Phew, well that’s good news…
It’s how you use it
I know, I know, the small penis catch cry of generations. But it’s true. Chicks want you to know how to vary pace, speed, positions and not just jack hammer them like a rapid rabbit, whatever your tent pole size, you gotta know how to make a chick orgasm. The lovely ladies also said oral is important, but like life, its all about balance. A dude that focuses on rewriting war and peace with his Aussie Kiss before anything else, is a massive red flag for ‘small dick’ or ‘ don’t know how to use my acorn hunter’. If that is like reading Japanese, and you are thinking ‘how the friggin hell do I use it’. Dude go and read cosmo or something, we aren’t going to sit around and drink lattes and discuss techniques here.
Rock out with your cock out
No, don’t. Literally interpretation will get you arrested. And that ain’t our problem. But size and oral skills aside, what chicks really, really want (yes we saved the best till last so you kept reading, not that you would stop, this shit is like liquid gold) is… HARDNESS. You got to be able to get a stiffy and maintain it to keeps the ladies satisfied. You see a soft trouser liquid, either before you start the process or mid way through, they take personally and get all self conscious that you don’t like them or find them attractive. Now dudes, we know that sometimes the very OPPOSITE happens and you like them so much and so in the moment that your love organ just decides to stop playing for that concert. Well, that’s a personal problem, all we know is that it makes chicks worried. So you can go on your own inner personal, yoga meditating search to sort that out yourself.
So average sized dudes of the world don’t despair! Make sure your skills are up to date and hard facts ready to rumble. If you want to know how you actually do fair in the size category, that might have to be a new post all together, I don’t really want to know about your sausage to be honest.